Free???

you grow up hearing the song of freedom. Time and again you are told that you can choose the way you tread and you have options to choose from, many options.You love life and its pleasant surprises. You start admiring life's unpredictability and love to make most of those uncertainities.You grow up to become an optimist. YOu see clear skies,green grass and sunshines. YOu see innumerable possibilities.

By the time you start feeling strong enough life opens the doors to reality. You realise that you are not what you thought to be. YOu are not free as much as you assumed to be.You are vulnerable to the misdeeds of your people.You are vulnerable to their indifference. Their follies can still hurt you. YOu no more enjoy their fancies and whims. YOu dont do anything wrong yet you suffer.YOu become a slave to the actions of people you live with. YOu can neither enjoy solitude nor their company. In solitude you think about their actions and in their company you long to be let alone.

You are no more a bundle of joy.YOu fail to distinguish between pain and joy because you come to conclusion that both of them are illusions. Your smiles are a matter of fact, your tears dry up, you become indifferent to everything that is happening around you. You talk, walk,work yet you are not invloved in anyone of these actions. YOu just do it for the heck of it. You neither resent doing anything nor enjoy doing anything.

So, what is wrong? Is it something to do with your conditioning or you as such? Or is it that you expect too much from the people around you? When you have nothing to do with their actions why do those actions matter to you? You are neither the source nor the target of their actions, yet why do they hurt you?