Thursday, September 30, 2004

Desaffronisation of Textbooks- some suggestions :D

" We want to desffronise the textbooks " quoted some old jerk in the paper. I have some suggestions for him.
1. Let us teach our kids that India was occupied by British becaue Bible teaches them to serve other humanbeings and British took the onus of improving the poor in India. So, whatever we are today is because of the great deeds done by the British and Italians ( Ma'am Sonia is still extending her great services to our country)

2. Let us tell our kids that calling yourself Hindu is fundamentalism. You should be ashamed of being a Hindu because you are in India which is a democricy and you should respect other religions who ll ultimately kill you. When a person of other religion kills a Hindu, he freed the earth of a fundamentalist. Where as a Hindu ( you never know who is the killer ) kills someone else, you shoule ask UN and US of A to interfere. Entire world will support you.

3. Let us write in our text books that Hinduism is full of superistitions where as others are purely rationsl. One of them is a fatherless child and another one is formless. Yes, how can a God have parents. Doesnt it make sense?

4. Let us write in our text books that there is nothing called Indus Valley Civilisation and River Saraswati. It is only that some of the foreign tribes came to this place and we are all successors of Europeans.

5. Let us teach them that Muslim kings like Moghuls developed India by making Hindus pay tax for growing hair. Obviously, they made you cut your hair.

6. Let us teach them that nothing much has happened during the reign of Guptas, Chalukyas and Pandyas. They were mere local kings. Assuming that Samudragupta spread his emprire from Himalayas to Malasia is Hindu fundamentalism and it might hurt our Eurpoean and Muslim brothers.

7. Let us dedicate more chapters about "new" religions ( it still beats me why this old jerk used the word "new") like Christianity and Islam. Bachhon, Christian missionaries give us money to do all these things. Isnt money important in our lives ???

8. Let us not mention anything about Vedas, Mahabharatha and Ramayana in History books. The children might believe it. How can any man on earth can compose something like Vedas.
Human beings can compose only things like Bible, Khoron etc.

9. Let us teach our kids that Bhagath Singh, Subhas Chandra Bose , Chandra Sekhar Azad etc are terrorists and they tried killing our Eurpoean brothers.

10. Let us not mention the Jallian walah Bagh incident in our text books. It might make our children hate Britishers.
Here we have another option. The Jallian Walah Bagh incident might not have happened. Our Brtish friends are good Christians who go to Church everyday. So, they couldnot have killed so many people. The incident might have been cooked up by Hindu Fundamentalists.

11. Let us tell them that VHP and RSS are terrrorist organisations where as Hizbul -Muzahuddin, Al Quaida , Laskhar -e- Toiba and CIA etc are all Charitable organisations who show people the way to repsectable deaths.

12. Let us teach them that US of A is the only country in the world that is without any religious fundamentalists. What all they care about is the prosperity, their welfare plans transend boundaries.
E.g. Look at countries like Iraq. They were ruled by people like Saddam and US of A release the country out of his clutches. Now Iraq is a free coountry with lot of Peace and organised way living. Let us encourage US of A to do some more Iraqa. Who has Oil, next????

Let our kids be ashamed that they are Hindus( Fundamentalists ).
Let us invite our brothers from Vatican to baptise all the people in India. After all Hinduism is a dangerous faith, let us convert the Brahmins first rather than the backward classes.

Any missionaries listening???...Can you do it??

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